Lyrics

POTTY TRAINING BLUES
(Lyrics and music by Winston Apple)

It feels so good to slip into a pair of big boy underwear
It lets the whole world know that I’m a big boy now

I was playing with my toys in my Sponge Bob training pants
When Mommy happened to glance over and saw me doing the potty dance
Well, the next thing that I knew, I was flying through the air
Heading for my potty chair
We were almost there when I couldn’t hold it any longer and I started to pee

We could avoid these disasters if Mom would help me to fly faster
Mommy says she’s moving as fast as she can go
Mommy says I need to let her know a little sooner when I need to go
That way, we’ll get there in time even if she’s moving slow

Nobody said this would be easy
But I never thought that it would be so hard
To take a break from playing when I’m having so much fun
Mommy says my toys will be waiting right here for me when I’m done
And so far, she’s been right every time
And lately, it seems more and more like she can read my mind

She seems to know when to pop the question
She says, “Son, do you need to pee?”
And when I tell her I don’t need to, Mom just says, “We’ll see”
And the next thing that I know, I’m flying through the air
Mom has learned to get my pants down while we’re running for the chair
And we’re making it on time more and more

I don’t know if it’s me or Mom, but one of us is getting faster
Lately, we seem to be having far fewer disasters
I’m learning to use my potty chair
It’s really nice to go all day without wet underwear

Now that my potty chair is in regular use
Mommy seems to be getting over the potty training blues

© 2011 Gary Winston Apple
Used by permission. All rights reserved.