Winston Apple

Lyrics

REALITY SHOWS
(Lyrics and music by Winston Apple)

When you try to capture reality for television, the Heisenberg Principle comes into play
The presence of a camera crew alters reality in subtle, and not so subtle, ways

There are a whole lot of people tuning in every week to their favorite reality shows
They get hooked on the illusion of reality and over time the illusion grows
But the people on the screen knew that everything they said and did
Was being taped and might be seen
By millions of viewers who have better things to do
Yet choose to watch TV
And hours and hours of footage has been edited down into a few choice scenes
This is just a reality show, it’s not reality

Be-bopping, non-stop at the disco Apocalypse
Where angry drunks mingle with the terminally mellow and the tragically hip
The put-downs fly, feeling get hurt, people are quick to shoot from the lip
Knowing full well that their screen time increases with each pithy quip
Under constant surveillance voluntarily
They air their dirty laundry publicly
This is just a reality show, it’s not reality

From the battered beaches of the Jersey Shore
Straight through the heart of the country to the O. C.
Ordinary people are being transformed into instant celebrities
There are a whole lot of people who will do whatever it takes to get on TV
They are perfectly willing to sacrifice themselves, their privacy and dignity
They know getting chosen to be on a reality show is like winning the lottery

Real housewives willingly share intimate details of their tawdry lives
We’ve got Guidos who do whatever it takes to keep the audience mesmerized
The wacky antics, double-dealing and schemes take on a train-wreck intensity
Contestants attempt to gain fame and fortune
Through the sheer force of their personalities
They know somebody’s gonna get kicked off the island at the end of every episode
Oh, but this is not reality
No, it’s just reality shows

America’s idle watch American Idol
Big Brother is dancing with the stars
There is no thought too trivial to share
No questions asked
And no holds barred
So won’t you turn on your television?
Tune in to your favorite reality show
Drop out of the real world, Baby, all you got to do is let yourself go
This is not reality, no, it’s just reality shows

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, have we got some shows for you?
(Why, yes, we do)
All cleverly designed to simulate reality, to entertain, to shock, and amuse
We’ve got stunning eliminations, contrived situations
Angry confrontations and last-minute twists
No script, no actors, schadenfreude moments
Does it get any better than this? (No) It does not

(This is just a reality show, it’s not reality)
Trading spaces, swapping wives
(This is just a reality show, it’s not reality)
Candid cameras? You bet your life
(This is just a reality show, it’s not reality)
Although you can make it your reality
(Your life is just a reality show)
Ask your doctor is reality shows are right for you
(It’s not reality)

Side effects include losing your grip on reality, loss of motivation, a shortened attention span,
Elevated levels of tolerance for, and enchantment with, aberrant behavior,
A pronounced lack of interest in real life, the inability to form original thoughts,
And addictions to schadenfreude moments, living vicariously, and a dystopian reality.

© 2011 Gary Winston Apple
Used by permission. All rights reserved.